On a hot sunny day, Ilana hunts for a good last-minute gift for her sex buddy Lincoln, having only found out his birthday on the day itself. Male Stacy (Seth Rogen) falls asleep during woman on topsex with Abbi. The girls look for an air conditioner for Abbi's bedroom – and steal one from a dormitory at their old university, NYU. Abbi's roommate Melody's boyfriend Bevers brings a box of kittens to Abbi's apartment. One of them escapes and startles Stacy while he is kissing Abbi in her bedroom – causing Stacy to accidentally push the air conditioning unit out of the window.
Abbi is horrified that Bevers has spent so long on her and Melody's couch that he has a large bedsore on his lower back; Melody is in Port-au-Prince.
Abbi is finally able to help her boss Trey to train someone at Soulstice, the gym that Abbi cleans at. Unfortunately, the new client is obese Bevers – who has decided to get into shape. The training goes wrong when Bevers is injured while falling off a treadmill and decides not to return.
Ilana enjoys being a corporate overlord when she hires several unpaid interns at her workplace, Deals Deals Deals, without permission. When she realises that she is treating them as slaves, she fires them.
Abbi, Ilana and Ilana's mother Bobbi (Susie Essman) have their nails done. Abbi goes to Jeremy's apartment for a casual date. During missionary sex, Abbi suggests that they switch. She meant to change position, and is surprised when Jeremy expects her to peg him using his strap-on dildo. Abbi phones Ilana for advice while Ilana and Bobbi are buying counterfeit designer handbags from a Chinese woman. Ilana is delighted that Abbi has the opportunity to peg and encourages her to do it, which she does. Ilana and Bobbi go to Bobbi's mother Esther's shiva, where Ilana's father Arthur (Bob Balaban) and her brother Eliot are already attending. Abbi arrives at the shiva, where she talks to Ilana and her family about pegging. After Ilana and Bobbi leave, they are arrested by the police, who seize their bags before releasing Ilana and Bobbi. Abbi washes the dildo in Jeremy's dishwasher, which melts it badly out of shape. Abbi buys a new dildo of similar appearance from a sex shop. Jeremy rejects the replacement, due to it being a knockoff. They argue – she tells him that he is too particular and he says that she is judgemental and has bad taste – then Abbi leaves. In Abbi's apartment, her dildo is fixed to the wall and she is using it to hang her necklaces on. She has decided to master regular sex and rejects Ilana's suggestion to peg her. At Ilana's parents' house, Bobbi convinces Arthur to buy a dildo so that she can peg him.
Ilana feels that she is missing out on a lot of fun. She goes into work to tell them that she is leaving straight away because she is going to a party.
Abbi and Ilana go to a party at Trey's apartment, but Ilana finds it boring, so they leave – Abbi falsely claims to Trey that she has to leave because she has a tapeworm in her butt. They attend two more parties which they also leave because Ilana thinks they are boring. The next party is much more lively, but the police stop the party, so they leave. They go to a jazznightclub, where Ilana discovers Abbi's drunken alter-ego, jazz singer Val. They leave at 6.45am.
Abbi is shocked when she sees that the cleaner who joined Soulstice yesterday has become a trainer.
Abbi, Ilana and Lincoln are invited to the wedding of Eliot's dog to his partner's dog in Central Park later in the day. Feeling sucked into a never-ending web of technology, Abbi and Ilana unplug to go rollerblading in Central Park without their cellphones. While there, Abbi falls into a hole, is injured and is unable to climb out. Ilana searches for help for her, as well as to find out exactly where the dog wedding is taking place. Ilana arrives at the dog wedding as it is taking place. The attendees halt the proceedings to get medical help for Abbi. The group, including Abbi on a stretcher, go back to finish the wedding – before she is taken away by the paramedics.
Abbi and Ilana are working coat check at a party. Ilana sees her doppelgänger Adele (Alia Shawkat), and is immediately strongly attracted to her, without noticing their physical similarity. Ilana leaves Abbi alone in the cloakroom. Abbi accidentally gives Kelly Ripa's coat to someone else. Abbi hopes that bringing Kelly her coat will lead to her forming a friendship with her. Abbi goes to the address that is on a card in the pocket of the only remaining coat in the cloakroom. At that apartment, the resident is holding an orgy and tells her that it belongs to her ex (David Wain). The resident hands Abbi some of her ex's belongings to take to him. Abbi goes to the man's apartment and gives him his coat and the things that his ex handed her. Abbi's plan is successful, and she goes to Kelly's apartment. Abbi is disappointed to learn that Kelly is not as glamorous as she seems to be on television. Abbi leaves after two male escorts arrive. Ilana is enjoying her fling, until she is surprised when Abbi points out to her that Adele looks exactly like her. Knowing of the strong physical similarity makes Ilana feel uncomfortable. Ilana makes Adele leave her apartment and decides to not see her again when she finds out that she does not smoke marijuana.
The girls celebrate Ilana's 23rd birthday by going to a restaurant on St. Mark's, Manhattan. On the way, they see a man who is walking on stilts and dressed as a tree. They encounter two loud acquaintances whom they dislike, and who push their table next to Abbi and Ilana's. Because of that, Abbi and Ilana leave after drinking wine, without ordering any food.
The girls go to a stall where Ilana buys a wig and they buy a T-shirt each, which they wear. Abbi's shirt has a picture of a challah and says Challah Back on it; Ilana's says Female Body Inspector. A mugger snatches a bag out of Abbi's hand. The girls chase him on foot, Ilana's wig dropping to the ground. They see him go into his upmarket house, where his mother is hosting a dinner party. She calls upstairs to her 34-year-old son Timothy, who argues with her and throws Abbi's bag downstairs. After leaving the house, 'tree man' gives Ilana her wig.
The girls sit on the steps outside a restaurant and eat pizza. They talk to each other about their accomplishments during the past 12 months and their plans for the next 12.
When Ilana arrives for brunch with Abbi, she accidentally drops the key to her bicycle lock down a storm drain while the lock and chain is around Ilana's waist. While attempting to reach the key, Abbi stains her top, so Abbi and Ilana go to a hostile pop-up shop before they go to Abbi's college roommate Max's art gallery opening. While trying on a new top, Abbi's old top is stolen, forcing her to buy the new top. After they leave, Abbi realizes the security tag is still attached to the top. They return to have it removed, but find that the store is no longer there. Abbi uses a portable toilet on a construction site; it is transported onto a truck while she is in it. She gets out of it before the truck drives away. Ilana gets stuck onto the back of another truck when she sits on it and her chain gets caught on a hook. Abbi attracts the attention of the driver, who stops, so that Abbi can free Ilana from the hook. The girls go to the gallery, where they meet Max. Ilana attempts to remove the security tag with her teeth causing ink to shoot out of it onto Max's painting. Abbi and Ilana are ejected by Max. At Ilana's apartment, Abbi eventually manages to pull the chain off Ilana using cream as lubricant. Guest stars: Emily Meade, Har Mar Superstar
The girls play basketball against a group of little boys.
Ilana buys groceries from the food cooperative that she is a member of. She is told by the staff that today is the last day on which she can work her shift in order to maintain her membership. Ilana cannot do the shift because she has an appointment, so she asks Abbi to pose as her while working the necessary hours. Abbi does so, while wearing Ilana's clothes as well as talking and acting like her. During the shift, Abbi is attracted to Craig and reveals her identity to him. He is angry with her and informs the branch manager, who bans both girls for life.
Lincoln drives Ilana to her HPV vaccines appointment. During the journey back, Lincoln tells Ilana that he had sex with another woman, which she is both angry and delighted about. Guest star: Melissa Leo
Abbi leads an exercise class of elderly people in Soulstice's swimming pool. An elderly man pretends to have lost consciousness in the pool in order to receive mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from her.
Abbi prepares for her first "Soulstice Games" in Central Park since being promoted from cleaner to trainer. Ilana leaves work to try to discourage Abbi from competing, but Abbi knocks fellow trainer Gemma to the ground with a pugil stick then pummels her face with it. Trey assumes that she started steroids after being promoted, saying that every new trainer does.
Ilana's boss Todd is annoyed with her for coming to work when he had told her not to that day, as well as for wearing a dog hoodie. Visiting investor Elizabeth (Vanessa Williams) tells Ilana to run the company's social media accounts. Todd fires Ilana from Deals Deals Deals for tweeting a video of a horse anally penetrating a man from the company's account. Guest stars: Vanessa Williams, Whoopi Goldberg
Abbi and Ilana sit on a bench in a park and talk about their ideas for inventions. Behind them, two people fall down steps and one is taken away on a gurney.
Abbi's neck is injured by her hairdresser, after which she attempts to have her driver's license photo retaken at the DMV; the photo is done badly because of the pain she is in. Ilana goes to a temp agency, where she is given a job as a bike messenger. Ilana carries Abbi on her bicycle to her chiropractor (Alan Alda). Ilana goes back to the DMV and has her photo retaken. Ilana delivers a package to the headquarters for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, where she signs up, wrongly assuming it to be a paid job. When she learns she is a volunteer, she quits. Abbi meets Ilana at the volunteer center, where they encounter Mrs. Clinton. Ilana tells Mrs. Clinton that she cannot continue to volunteer but that she will continue supporting her via Twitter. Guest stars: Alan Alda, Hillary Clinton, Rachel Dratch, Cynthia Nixon
Abbi gives a cup of her urine to Ilana which she intends to pass off as her own at a urine test. Seconds later, Ilana collides with another pedestrian, spilling it.
While having sex in the shower, Abbi and Trey make plans to go on their first date. He wants a relationship with her but she wants them to be sex friends. While Abbi and Ilana are sitting in the park, Abbi continues to hide her involvement with Trey from her. Lincoln arrives at the park and informs Ilana that he has a girlfriend and they are to be monogamous, so he will not continue being sex buddies with Ilana. She suggests they be friends, but he rejects that suggestion. Ilana is shocked and runs away, then meets up with her brother Eliot and their parents Bobbi (Susie Essman) and Arthur (Bob Balaban). The family dine at a restaurant to celebrate Bobbi and Arthur's 35th wedding anniversary. When Abbi arrives for her date with Trey, she realizes that she is at the same restaurant as the Wexlers. Bobbi spots her and invites her to join them. The rest of the episode is an homage to Mrs. Doubtfire, where Abbi spends the evening running back and forth between both tables, and drinking heavily. Bobbi begins choking on a lychee, and Abbi calls for Trey from across the restaurant to save Bobbi, which he does by performing the Heimlich maneuver. He tells them that he is on a date with Abbi, leaving Ilana angry that Abbi did not tell her about her fling with Trey. Eliot says that he has been given a promotion and is moving to London. When trying to console a distraught Ilana, Abbi tells her that she did not tell her because she was embarrassed and that he means nothing to her, is a guilty pleasure and a joke. Trey overhears this, is disappointed with Abbi, and walks off. Ilana tells Abbi that the main reason for her being upset is Lincoln no longer wanting her in his life. Guest stars: Mara Wilson, Susie Essman, Bob Balaban
Part 2 of 2. During their flight to Israel, Abbi and Ilana struggle to find people to switch seats with on the plane so that they can sit near to each other. They finally manage to sit either side of an obese dead man. Abbi's period starts, but she does not have tampons with her, because she was forced to put her bag in the luggage compartment. Abbi and Ilana struggle to find a tampon. Ilana fellates Jared in the toilet. Two flight attendants overhear Abbi describing her period as an "explosion". They are both apprehended by the flight attendants, suspected of being terrorists. When they land in Israel, they are interrogated and then deported. They discuss Jesus Christ on the plane home. Guest stars: Adam Levine, Seth Green, Tracee Ellis Ross, Tymberlee Hill
Abbi and Ilana escort patients through a protest outside an abortion clinic.
Ilana starts a new job as a waitress at a trendy restaurant in Manhattan called Sushi Mambeaux. The staff and the boss Marcel (RuPaul) frequently insult people.
A package for Abbi – a four-year supply of Plan B – is delivered to Soulstice. She lies to her boss, Dara, so that she can retrieve it in person. She tries to avoid Trey, but he sees her – and they train Shania Twain together. Abbi and Trey have sex together at Soulstice, but have to stop when Trey suffers a penile fracture and is taken to hospital. As Trey is being wheeled off on a gurney, Abbi asks Mike – one of the paramedics – for his phone number. She tells him that she is a "relationship gal" and tells Ilana that she is dating Mike. Guest stars: Wanda Sykes, RuPaul, Shania Twain, Sandra Bernhard
Abbi and Ilana Heimlich a choking man through the railings of Gramercy Park, but he will not let them in the park.
Abbi fabricates a relationship out of her meaningless six-day fling with Mike. She ends her delusion after her attempt to give advice to an unhappy wife ends with her laughing at Abbi and Mike telling her during a phone call that he has been having sex with two other people during their fling.
Abbi and Ilana take psilocybin mushrooms and trip as they walk through NYC. Dara tells Abbi to collect 100 macarons from a pastry shop and bring them to her house, where she is holding a birthday party for her wife. Abbi brings the macarons to Dara's house and Ilana comes along. Abbi accidentally kills Dara's cat, so Dara fires her and tells her to leave. Ilana meets a couple who invite her to their house to have a threesome with them – but she takes too long to get ready, so the threesome does not happen. Guest star: Alysia Reiner
Ilana is using a light box to cope with her seasonal affective disorder. Abbi's mother, 55-year-old Joanne, (Peri Gilpin) comes to the city for a visit. Joanne tells Abbi that she had a benign lump in her breast, which made her think about all the things that she has never done and wants to do. Bevers walks in wearing just his underpants, which Abbi is horrified by – but Joanne finds him attractive. Abbi and Joanne (wearing a tight, short dress of Abbi's) go to Sushi Mambeaux, where Ilana is attracted to Joanne. Marcel tells the staff that whoever makes the most money in tips that night will take home everyone's tips – and whoever makes the least in tips will be fired. Joanne is shocked when Abbi tells her that she has had sex with 32 men. She feels she has missed out by only having had sex with three men – her first boyfriend, Abbi's father and her husband – and has never had anal sex. Abbi and Joanne smoke cannabis together outside the restaurant. Joanne climbs on top of a table in the restaurant and falls off it. Outside, Joanne French kisses Ilana's young colleague Owen. Abbi, Ilana and Marcel see them – and Marcel fires Owen. Parker finally tells Marcel that he is his son. Marcel accepts this and immediately fires Parker, saying he doesn't work with family. Abbi, Ilana and Joanne go to a sex shop. Guest star: Peri Gilpin
Abbi freaks out about aging after discovering a gray hair. Abbi needs a heater and sells Christmas cards in the street in Manhattan which she had made. Abbi is concerned that she has a lot in common with elderly stallholder Margo (Jane Curtin). Ilana leaves Abbi to sell them alone as she visits a sex therapist, Betty (Marcella Lowery), to recapture her sexual spark. Ilana realizes that she has not orgasmed since the election. Ilana talks to Betty and orgasms in front of her. One of Abbi's customers a 51-year-old dermatologist (Greta Lee) who looks a lot younger than she is; Abbi has botox injections at her clinic. Another of Abbi's customer's is Jeremy, who is no longer her neighbor, accompanied by his partner and their adopted baby. When Abbi and Ilana meet up, their table has disappeared. Abbi, Ilana, Betty and Margo attend a winter solstice ceremony with several other people in the park. Ilana buys Abbi a heater. Ilana sees many more gray hairs on Abbi's head and dyes them black. Guest star: Jane Curtin, Marcella Lowery, Greta Lee
Abbi, Ilana, Eliot and Bobbi take a trip to Florida to clean out Grandma Esther's apartment along with Bobbi's sister, Bev (Fran Drescher). Eliot's suitcase is lost during the journey. Abbi and Ilana decide to stay in the area and rent an apartment; they change their minds because there are too few LGBT people and non-whites for their liking. Abbi, Ilana, Eliot, Bobbi and Bev smoke marijuana together – during which Bobbi says that Lincoln has changed his status on Facebook to single. Ilana and Abbi drive back to NYC in the car that Ilana inherited. Ilana goes to Lincoln's apartment. Guest star: Fran Drescher
Ilana goes to what she thinks is a job interview for an office manager position, but she is at the wrong address and the two men she is talking to are managers of a YouWork centre and think she is there to rent an office. Ilana puts furniture in the street and charges smokers to use it, calling her business SheWork. The YouWork managers tell Ilana to close SheWork and give her $500 to do so. She tells all her customers to leave because the business is closing.
Abbi's toilet is blocked and the building's landlord, Fernando Hernandez, tells her that she should use a shitbucket - a separate garbage can that is used for toilet paper. The plumber says that the other residents of her apartment block use shitbuckets and that he grew up using one. She holds a tenants' meeting in order to make a collective written complaint about how the building is run, including the need for shitbuckets and the inadequate heating. Abbi gives the complaint to Fernando. She receives a note under her door informing her that Fernando has been fired, that a plumbing company will carry out repairs in the next few days and that all tenants' rent will be increased to cover the cost.
Ilana remembers that she bought some bitcoins several years ago with her then lover. She finds him, and he gives her $8,265 - the value of her share of their bitcoin.
Abbi takes her laundry to a laundromat; they lose a sweatshirt of hers which she is fond of. She puts up posters of herself in the sweatshirt in order to try to recover it. She is reported as missing on TV, so she phones a TV channel to tell them that she was never missing. The sweatshirt is handed in to the laundromat, who give it to Abbi.
Abbi asks her manager Lisa if she may organise the window display at Anthropologie. She is disappointed when Lisa says no. Abbi goes ahead without permission and as a result is fired and banned from all branches of the chain.
Abbi is horrified that Ilana uses the same cheese grater to remove dead skin from her feet as she uses for grating cheese, even after Ilana tells her that she immerses it in a jar of barbicide before using it to grate cheese.
Donna invites Abbi and Ilana to a party at her workplace, the Museum of Modern Art. Abbi accepts, but Ilana declines because she is having a 1-year anniversary dinner with Lincoln. The couple exchange presents and negotiate various aspects of their relationship. Lincoln is determined to move back to Maryland, marry and have children. Ilana wants to continue living in NYC, be polyamorous, study psychology and not have a child until she is 43. As a result of them wanting very different things from life, the couple amicably split. At the party, Abbi falls over and is taken to hospital where she and a doctor, Lesley, are attracted to each other. Abbi asks Lesley out, and she accepts.
Ilana is delighted to discover that she is distantly related to a 91-year-old Holocaust survivor, Saul who lives in Manhattan. She and Ilana visit him at his rest home and sneak him out to take him shopping at his request. Abbi and Ilana are delighted to see Alan Cumming, but Saul has not heard of him. They follow Cumming to a dragbrunch. While Abbi and Ilana are talking to Cumming, Saul boards a bus. The girls go to the home to tell the receptionist that they lost him. She angrily informs them that he always goes to IKEA when he gets out, and tells them to bring him back. The girls go to IKEA and find him shopping there.
Lesley gives Abbi a bright yellow hat, which she wears despite her, Ilana and Saul disliking it. After wearing it all day, she tells Lesley that she dislikes it and Lesley accepts that she need not wear it.
Ilana is delighted to be accepted into Hunter College as well as being recruited as for a modelling shoot. She develops severe conjunctivitis, which prevents her from doing the shoot, which Bobbi does instead. Ilana does not have a doctor in NYC, so she goes to her vet acquaintance's surgery to receive a hepatitis B vaccine. Lesley ends her fling with Abbi, saying that Abbi is not an adult yet and that Abbi's life is a series of wild shenanigans. Hurt by the break up (by the reality of what Lesley said) and encouraged by a different friend, Abbi applies for an artist residency in Colorado.
Abbi, Ilana and Bevers sell some of Abbi's things on the street. They decide to keep one of the items, the couch. However, the garbage truck takes it away, so the girls jump on the back of it and retrieve it from the depot. They leave it outside a Lil Wayne concert, in order to take it home afterwards. They take an MDMA pill each and are rejected due to the tickets they bought on Craigslist being counterfeit. They try to find a way to sneak into the concert. On the journey home, they realise that they forgot the couch. Bevers tells Abbi that he sold everything, but he actually has a lot of it in his room.
Abbi and Ilana set out a mission to get Abbi's last bodega bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich before moving. They fail to find one before bodegas stop selling them at 11AM. Ilana finds a valuable toilet on the street; she and Abbi roll it on a skateboard towards Ilana's apartment. When they stop to talk on the Brooklyn Bridge, Ilana and Abbi reflect on their friendship. Ilana becomes emotional and says her "final goodbye" to Abbi. When Ilana leaves the toilet for Abbi to keep, it is taken.
Ilana organises a party on the roof of her apartment building, attended by several people who know them, as well as some of Abbi's neighbors.
Abbi and Ilana say their last goodbye to each other, before she moves 1,800 miles away to Boulder, Colorado. Four months later, they remain friends and frequently phone each other.
