Hi! My name is Joshua. I've learnt to introduce myself with my full name, as introducing myself as 'Josh' tends to elicit the response, "Is that short for Joshua?" I used to introduce myself as Josh, attempting to make my introduction as easy as possible for most. But with the aforementioned follow-up question so frequently presented, I figure sacrificing my precious breath and using up two additional syllables does, in the long run, save more time. Ironically, I have just wasted the average person 32 seconds (and counting) explaining my own introduction. You're welcome.

Before we continue, I'd like to address some of the 'Joshua' misconceptions. Asking if Josh is short for Joshua isn't entirely pointless. While most Joshuas may be Joshs, not all Joshs are Joshuas. I know someone whose full first name is 'Josh', and I can't even begin to imagine just how complex his introduction must be!

Elderly Woman: "Oh, Josh. That's a lovely name! Is that short for Joshua?" Josh: "No."

Brown noise is the underdog of focusing techniques. I'm a professional procrastinator and an avid perfectionist, so while the average Nobel Prize recipient may thank their mum and their Year 11 chemistry teacher, I thank brown noise. I've tried everything else, from the noises of nature, birds singing and rain falling, to ASMR videos of keyboards tippity-tapping away satisfyingly. But nothing soothes the soul like brown noise. Honestly, I couldn't even begin to tell you why. I love the sound of rain. In fact, I frequently use natural wallpapers on my computer to mimic rainfall, and I enter another dimension entirely when the sky opens up and water buckets down onto tin roofs above. But the distorted drowning decibels of brown noise put me in overdrive. I will caution, however, that brown noise is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Some of my work still never gets done (or even started) despite brown noise blaring in my ears. But hey, at least I wrote this Wikipedia page!

No one asked for this, but I've been thinking: how does a random, droning, fuzzy frequency force me to focus so fantastically? [TBC]