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The Complete And Utter History Of The Brad

Brad was born at a very early age in Leeton, NSW, Australia. He spent his early years doing very little apart from eating, sleeping and getting his own way; a lifestyle he still manages to maintain even to this day.

Brad spent his teenage years starting numerous cults dedicated to terrorising fellow schoolmates for fun and profit. Having scammed as much money and knowledge as he could get, Brad then turned his focus to university life.

After successfully spending four years at the University of Canberra downloading naughty pictures off the Internet (under the guise of studying for a Computer Engineering degree), Brad began his career of professional time-wasting. Using his honed powers of deception, he quickly infiltrated a powerful organisation by posing as a waste paper basket. After being promoted to trash compacter, Brad then undertook guru training to gain worship and respect and, most importantly, more money than you get for crushing empty milk cartons. At some point in time he acquired some minions, allowing him to spread his corruption internationally.

Know for his incredible intellect, people have often queried Brad on the meaning of life - to which he usually responds by growling and kicking them in the nuts - especially tramps. While this is great fun, it doesn't get you invited to many parties.

When not consumed with desires for power, Brad spends much of his leisure time bringing sorrow and misfortune to the world. Such is life, and so is Brad.

Brad continues his quest to hook up with Angelina Jolie, as unlike "that other Brad" he and Angie are the same age (+/- two days), left-handed and like sharp pointy objects.