Bold text CD EP

01. Monkey Dust V's Daily Mail 02. ?? 03. The End

If You Want Something Doing…

  The picture on the sleeve depicts a black suited man leveling a handgun at a dog on a scooter. Now something I like to do when I see a picture like this is to imagine what the events prior to the capture of the image might have been, so as to build up a better picture of what is taking place in the scene; and recent events have rather clouded my judgment on this one.

  The confrontation between the two seems to be taking place within a DIY warehouse, of the sort that dominate retail parks across the country. They are places where thousands of families spend weekends, all huddled together in one place quietly arguing themselves into a court battle over custody. The ideal place it would seem, to be a target for the latest modern terror, 'The Bomb Dog'.

   Now we have never had to deal with a threat such as this, and who would have believed it possible? That our one-time faithful friends could be used as weapons against us in cruel attacks on the fundamental principals of our society. But still we allow them into our homes, to sleep in our beds and to roam our estates unimpeded. For how much longer can this liberal attitude remain workable? They are no longer being trained by horse-faced old ladies in green body-warmers, in fact some of them are sent to camps in far off countries and trained in techniques designed to undermine and corrode the very values we hold dear. 

  On the fateful day in that B&Q Warehouse, shoppers were going about their business as usual. Selecting wallpaper, matching paint and grabbing skinny lattes' at the in-store café. While unbeknownst to them, in their midst was an evil so bent on the destruction of their right to enjoy such a wide range of activities under one roof, that it would stop at nothing to achieve its goal.

  At 10.17 CCTV cameras monitored what appeared to be a Jack Russell terrier on a scooter heading at pace toward the 'Hardwood and Timber' section. The alarm was raised, and security were given the authority to stop the freewheeling hound at all costs, certainly before it reached 'Bathrooms and Kitchenware'. Customers began noticing signs of trouble around 10.24 as the dog sped through Hardware, and was reportedly seen to vault the turn-style into the Trade Goods section. One eyewitness was later to comment that the pup was wearing a heavy coat, which "struck me as very strange as it was not a cold day…"

  It was around this time that six members of plain clothed security converged on the hound, but despite repeated warnings, the beast was dispatched at around 10.33 with repeated cranial shots being delivered by 3 separate plain clothed guards while one held the blighter down by the wheels.

  The artwork used by the Bomb Dogs on this release depicts the scene just prior to Luckys dispatch. But as I have shown you all, it tells us much more than that.

It's so much more than lucky…

…Do It Yourself

  It wasn't until I came to write that down that I began to realize just what an effect a cover of an album/EP or, in this case demo could have on a person. It's true that most people would perhaps not have quite the same reaction to what they see on an album sleeve. In fact, I have had albums for years the covers of which I have starred at time and time again without really realizing what they depict. Our eyes are by nature very lazy organs, they think they know what's best; and if they recognize something they look no further.
  Our ears on the other hand, are ready, willing and able to hear new things every time, and like a curious vole, they will snuffle and nuzzle a new sound until they have the measure of it.
  I whacked on the 'Bomb Dogs' latest release ('A Demo') on a weekday evening at around midnight, the volume was not particularly high but the noise that spewed forth from my antique speakers was the sound of the horsemen being weighed in for the apocalypse. Now it may have been the hour of night, or it may have been the state of mind, but the room seemed suddenly filled with a powerful and vibrant force that was not about to let me ignore it. The first track was, and indeed is, 'Monkey Dust V's Daily Mail', an interesting concept, and a ring stinger of a track.
  How do you prefer it? Soft and slow, or hard and fast? If you've indicated to the latter then please stand up now. Those of you that are still seated will be pleased to know that tickets for the forthcoming Phil Collins tour can be obtained by squeezing your red buttons now. But seriously, this is the type of music that creates divisions. It is a tribal and it is powerful, and the sentiment expressed within its lyrics are designed to provoke a reaction in the listener, be it a political statement or a foretelling of horror, it grabs you like a drunk, and damn well has its say.
  I cannot begin to convey the wonderful homely-ness of the sound these guys have created on this release. It has all been done the old fashioned way, with 8 tracks down and two fingers up at the record companies. Why there aren't many more small bands making their own recordings in bedrooms around the city is a mystery to me. With the myriad pieces of software and general availability of quality recording equipment such as mics and the like, Lincoln could start a revolution against the Companies. Selling your own CD's at gigs is easy, and there will be no shortage of people willing to stand behind the stall and look like they are in some way associated with your band.
  Get out there and do it chaps. Do it now! Its like Neil Young meant: Its better to burn off than to fade away…

The End

 I am aware that I drift from the point from time to time, so in this last section I shall endeavor to give you a solid understanding of what the 'Bomb Dogs' have delivered here.
  It is a short, sharp kick in the face. A suckerpunch of pure power that will leave you feeling dazed, confused and sore. Three tracks are contained within the confines of this plastic sleeved release, and every single one of them attacks you like wasp would a jam-covered man. My particular favorite, the darkly foreboding tale of doom and terror that is 'The End', talks you through a not-to-distant future where all the horror and terror that is currently safely on the other side of the globe is '…at your front door." A subject that is often the topic of conversation around the kitchen table here at G towers. Because it is coming, "how will you deal with it?"
  I am not a particular fan of this style of thrashed out punk, and if truth be known, it is more out of admiration for their ability to craft such solid, workable tunes out of what is basically three chords, that I rate his so highly. But craft them they do, and having nipped off downstairs during the writing of this review to re-fuel on nicotine and 'Bomb Dogs', it has become clear to me that my wise old ears have warmed to this spikey violent noise; and like one warms to a local drunk, I have begun to see the personality behind the snarling façade.
  But as with the local drunk, one should be careful not to let complacency temper your instincts, because even a docile hound will snap.