User talk:Darcourse
Jokes!!!
Two Chinese brothers, Wong A. and Wong B., decide to set up a paint factory 'TuWongs'. They only sell the darker shades. Why?
Because TuWongs don't make a white!
A bloke breaks into a yoghurt factory, but he got caught.
Now he feels like a fool!.
How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it down a hill!
Did you you hear about the postman who lost his job?
He got the sack!
What happened to the shrimp who had a rebirth?
He was a prawn-again crustacean!
Where do gnomes go when they are unwell?
The National Elf Service!
Why was the Christmas tree unwell?
It had tinsellitis!
Comedy. It's a funny business!
You're playing two Tauruses in defence? (football has been taken over by player's star signs)
What a load of bull!
Why did the monkey go to the barbeque?
Because he was a griller!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side!
TV idea
Multi-talent show
10 contestants battle over 10 weeks in a variety of disciplines:
- Cooking
- Pottery
- Needlework
- Running
- Weights
- Archery
- Painting
- Singing
- Drama
- Supermarket till work (object recognition, sorting and handling)
Cryptic clues
- Bad smell of bottle opener (4,5)
Christmas cracker jokes
- What did Santa say to his wife when she asked what the weather for the afternoon will be?
It's going to rain, dear!
- Why did the onion panic?
Because he was in a pickle!
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