This is a humorous essay. It contains humorous advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and isn't meant to be taken seriously. This is not an encyclopedia article or one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines and may not represent community consensus.

Think of Wikipedia as a town, and all the users as the citizens. Think of the vandals as criminals, and the administrators as policemen who can arrest them. And Jimbo as the Mayor, of course. If people could think of "community volunteers" who go around, unpaid, scrubbing graffiti off walls, litter- and poo-picking in the playground, replacing the glass in the vandalised telephone boxes, rather than the Civility Police, it might work better. Of course, if you're the oik who's just been found spraying the graffiti and leaving the heavy-breathing phone calls, you're not going to be best pleased with any kind of "policing". We need the equivalent of ASBO's here in WikiLand, not just fines, imprisonments, and the rest. An ASBO still leaves you with your freedom, so long as you don't violate its terms.

Stopping in town for the first time, you will find that the townsfolk consist of tenant farmers and landlords, noblemen and barons. Adolescents frolic in the park while mothers watch over the young. You will also notice that there are immigrants who are trying hard to make their mark on society, but usually not settling down long enough to live here. Sometimes they stay, and sometimes they get thrown into jail for life. Of course, they may come back as impostors.

Bungalows are built upon and expanded. Interesting houses get on the news, while some lucky houses have special construction crews which turn them into mansions.

Vandals are the criminals. You can send several reminders to their mailbox, before going to the police station and getting a policeman involved, who will eventually arrest them. Then you can retire to your own home for the night.

The policemen go through everything, and have the power to demolish houses and arrest criminals. They apply for their job at the job centre, and the community vote on whether they should become policemen.

If being arrested isn't enough, vandals can be referred to the High Court to be dealt with there.

The mayor, in his town hall, watches over everything and makes sure everything is alright. He makes important decisions and signs important documents.

People go to meetings with him to discuss new ideas.

The town school, Wiki High, takes in young citizens and trains them up to be proper editors.

Everybody travels around on the transport system. It helps them get to places quickly and without fuss.

The Teahouse is a wonderful place where we can welcome new residents and help them with their questions. They also make cupcakes to die for!